Tuesday, 19 September 2017

How to (almost) give a poet a heart attack:

1. Delay delivery of their book until day before the tour starts.
2. Make poet wait in all day giving delivery time as simply before 18:00.
3. At 15.55 park a TNT lorry outside poet's house. Do nothing for 10 minutes.
4. Do not knock on poet's door. Instead knock on her neighbour's door who is out. Then go up one house and ask that neighbour to take box.
5. As neighbour signs for box find poet standing in the street in their socks, saying in a really small voice 'Excuse me, is that box for me?' Both say 'No!'
6. Hear poet say 'B-b-but, do you have another delivery for me. I'm expecting a TNT delivery today...?'
7. Say 'No, I've nothing for you.'
8. See poet turn to neighbour and ask 'Please, can you just read out the house number on the box.'
9. See neighbour go 'oh' after reading poet's house number out.
10. Give box of books to poet.

The rest have gone to the usual places, I hope!

And breathe out!

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